Consistent bedtime routines lessen chaos.

Bedtime is essentially the same as separation in a different form, and most children exhibit some anxiety at one time or another in this regard. With this in mind you can tap into what is “behind the scenes” and work with this fear early on to nip on-going bedtime anxiety in the bud way before it escalates out of control.

Newborns—pick them up when they cry. The only exception is to give them a chance to settle themselves on their own before you rush in all freaked out. Baby may wake from a sleep and fuss a bit. Wait a few min. to give them the opportunity to adjust and learn to cope. There is somewhat of a controversy about the issue of bedtime with babies. To me, there is no contest. Newborns communicate by crying. When they cry they need something. For awhile, there is no regular or set time for bed for newborns. They need to be fed through-out a 24 hr. period—there is not a long 8 hr. period when they can go without being fed. Newborns don’t manipulate at this time—they have needs which need to be met.

As baby grows, the first months continue as when they were newborns. You are building security by responding to their needs. It’s not long before teething sets in accompanied by sometime pain! So don’t neglect your baby’s needs when they cry. With the absence of daytime distraction and stimulation, tooth pain may become more pronounced at bedtime. Rubbing gums, a cold washcloth or rubbing on some Oragel are ways you can relieve the ache.

Be attentive but at the same time don’t hover and spread anxiety around or you’ll have an anxious baby. Anxious parent makes for anxious baby makes for potential chaos—ouch!

After about four months, you can start to help your baby learn to extend the wait time for gratification and gradually as baby sleeps through the night, a more regular bedtime can be incorporated.

At the time your baby seems sleepy establish a routine. Make sure all needs are met i.e. feed, change diaper, etc. rock baby, hug baby and put in crib. The time this requires could take awhile and this is ok. In the long run it will pay-off with your child’s feelings of security and a no hassle bedtime.

If you establish a calm comforting secure time in the early months, as your child turns into a toddler, it will not be an issue. The exact routine isn’t as important as the consistency of it. Make a routine, stick to it as much as possible so your child can count on it and recognize cues.

(The ten min. can vary within a few min. without the world falling apart. What I’m going for here, is to squelch the dogmatic, one min. over 10 min. and you’re toast, kind of approach. It may work for, say, 10 min. out of a lifetime, but that leaves the rest of a lifetime of trying to make up for that kind of authoritarian parenting.)

There are so many good reasons to read to your child that I can’t begin to extol the virtues in a small space. Just read, read, read to your babies and toddlers. If you can’t read yourself (in which case you’ll be having someone read this to you) you can still look at pictures in books with your children.

Nursery rhymes are a favorite with babies and toddlers with their lilting repeated sounds and rhymes.

Some of the more common nursery rhymes for bedtime can be found here A rocking chair is the quintessential accessory for bedtime for good reason. It soothes and calms both parent and child.

Keep the routine under-elaborated but stick to it like glue. In time your child will be reminding you of the routine!

Rock and read to your child for best results.

An added benefit is that reading to your child is the foundation of early reading. For more information on that you can go to

further information on early baby reading