hand-me-downs

hand-me-downs are handy from friends who have a baby a few months or years older than your baby.

Since babies grow so quickly, some never get a chance to wear their entire wardrobe before they've outgrown it. This means many second-hand items are in really good condition. To reuse and recycle are ways to be kind to our environment as well as our pocketbooks.

Hand-me-downs from an older child to a younger child are a different issue and more of an issue. Number one child probably already feels a bit displaced when #2 arrives. So some sensitivity is required when passing things on down the line.

It is good to strive to create an atmosphere of respect and privilege with your child. You respect your child's ownership, privacy and individuality when you allow her to be the one to pass on her no-longer-needed items. And if for one reason or another, she isn't ready to let go, you will solidify her secure feelings if you allow her the time she needs to adjust to giving her things away.

In other words, don't just rip them out of her life or sneak her possessions away.

Some items may fall in the category of non-importance to her while some will be important and it's a quirk of human nature that when something is valuable to someone else, all of a sudden, it becomes obvious to others that it has value and everybody wants it!

You can minimize these possession battles by respecting your child's things. When it's time to pass them on, arrange it so that your older child presents her them herself to a younger child.

You can have a once a month (or whateaver time frame suits your situation) "TREASURE TIME". A family treasure time. At treasure time, everybody (including Dad and Mum) can bring items that they are finished with and ready to hand-me-down or hand-me-over, and literally lay them out for grabs. It can be a simple or elaborate little tradition.

Or you can just simply have a box in your child's room or space where she can put her unwanted or finished-with cast-offs for you to dispose of as you see fit.

Wait until she puts them in the box though--don't go rummaging unless this whole thing isn't an issue for this particular child.

If you have one child, you can do a family version of treasure time. Or you can do a variation of it. Together with your child, periodically take unused "treasures" that are still in good shape to the various thrift stores or Salvation Army or YMCA or YWCA or neighbors, friends, or relatives.

Recognize your child's willingness to share and hand-me-down with praise, i.e."Thank-you for sharing with your brother. It makes me happy when you share"

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